This year we will be playing in the rookie division of the NPUC tournament series.
April 18, Coleridge 1 on 1 Tournament Standings: 1st Chris Kruse, 3rd Brody Steffen, 5th Danny Dresen. Three out of three of our players placed in this tourney.
May 15, Bridgewater 5man- 1st!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides the rain this tourney was awesome. We got there early in the morning and got set up. This is where our problems began. We discovered that 2 of our guns (the impulse and the autococker) completely broke. Not usable. But despite this we won our first game as a rookie 5 man team against a novice team in the prelims. Here we discovered our strategy was total crap. We lost the next three games. Finally we pulled it to gether and won two more to qualify for the finals with a 3-4 record. Then we preped our guns up and went at it. We went undefeated in the finals to get first place!!!!!!!! It wasn't easy though. There was some really good competition. Now hopefully we can make it to rapid!!!
June 5, Rapid City 5 man- 4th....Totally Flabergasted? Didnt see that one commin did ya? Neither did we! 4th....the sound of that disgraceful number stikes up vomit in my throat. Now ill explain how we got in this pittiful position. First off, the reffing, or lack there of. I do remember a game, with amazing clarity, where the reffs just, well, didnt do a mf'in thing. I was so frustrated, that i actually started yelling from the dead box "DO UR JOB! CHECK THAT PLAYER! CHECK HIM! One ref imparticular was more or less 3 yrds away from a player who WAS shot in the hopper(we have video footage of the entire thing), and just casually walked a steady .001 mph over to check him. well by that time the player either just wiped/ played on, or the ref probly didnt even bother to check him at all..Im not saying all the reffing was bad. just a couple refs imparticular. Many refs were doing an amazing job, and were very commited i thought. Another factor for our less then amazing playing were marker problems in the field. For some, bolt pins were flying out of back blocks, which as many of us know, renders a cocker virtually useless. We also had times when battery covers would fall off hoppers, taking valuable time and effort away from the game. And even the mountain air had it out for us! The thin air was making us pant and wheeze almost constantly.( i ran to a relatively close bunker and snap shot a couple times and then i had to take a much needed breather! LOL). and last but not least, there was some very good competetion. I have to give props to Team Ballistic and Prodigy. Those games in my opinon were the most nerve racking and intense played that day. But all in all the tournament was ran rather smootly(aside from a few refs) and we loved the field set up and the location. The players party i thought left something to be desired, but then again, we ate at the food court before hand, and half the team was out wandering in random stores lol.
June 26, Worthington 5 man-Well what can i say. Hmmm, ill start with friday. Friday: the Pre-Tourney Halo/random Partay! woohoo. Well, me (Danny) Decided we needed to party before we embarked on our next great crusade which happened to be the third leg of the NPUC in Worthington MN. All day everyone (15+ppl) were playin halo. Then some of da ladies came ;). They showed up, sat down, and, im thinkin. LOL wow this must be REALLY fun for them. Getting to watch a bunch of short tempered, Loud (brandon), Paintball Fanatics scream about "DUDE I MESSED U UP WITH MY SUPER AWSOME PATENTED SUPER SHOTGUN" Well then we decided to call it quits and watch some tv. Well that proved to be...well. Boring to be perfectly honest. HALO TIME. Then we started to play some halo. again. so we played halo till like 930 or so. then everyone started to clear out and we ordered freddy vs jason on PPV. that didnt start for another hour, so we needed something to do. Then, Chris (Mr. Captain Man) showed up with twins :O the party was kind of on again. we watched Fidy First dates. Then Freddy Vs Jason started, and half stayed and half went downstairs to watch it. FUNNIEST SHOW EVER (freddy vs jason) The plot made no sense. Then after everyone but the team left, we found that we couldnt sleep.( it was about 2 am) So we decided just to stay awake till 4am (which is when we had to bug out and go). Well the rest of the night we looked at pb forums and talked about our Strategy. OK. now to the actual tourney lol. The field set up was....Surprisingly short. Really short. Um.............we got 2nd Place Behind our Arch Rival: Ballistic. Thats all i can remember. -Sleep Deprivation, no memory.- o yea. we suck at using video cameras. half the tape was full of clouds and grass. -One final note: I dominated the T Bunker :p, and we did really well over all. See ya in Sioux City Ballistic.
August 1, Cedar County Open 3 man-Me (Danny), Corey, and Marks team: 1st! wooo. got lots a da moneys outta dis one kidz. 3rd place was Chris, Brody, and Kyles team. Theys gots quite a few moneys too. Now on to the tourney. We got down to the field at about 7am, to find that a ghost had knocked down our netting and tent in a drunken stupor. It was either that, or wind (but who the hell would belive that "wind" would have done something so incomprehensably clumsy? Not I (Danny)) So we went about setting everything back up and got the paint and air tanks unloaded. Then teams started showing up and the cptns. meeting was underway. My team was up against Moya the first game we played, and we won! *Danny cheers but no one knows what hes talking about and just stare blankly* Well anyway, we won every game in the prelims but one, and that was against Marked for life, and one of their guys played psp 10 man :|. We beat our sister team in finals, and lost the rest of our games. But due to penalties and our sister team stopping the leading team in points in theyre tracks, we got first and went home with almost 300$. Our sister team went home with 130$ for comming in 3rd.THE END
August 7, Pierre 5 man (moved from Souix City)-1st Place. HUMMINAHAAA! Were retaking our rightful position of first back! Well time to move on; to a FACTUAL, UN-FALSIFIED, REAL summay of events leading to, and playing in Peirre. Well on friday, we proceeded to pack up the Dysfunktionmobile(which was more cramped than 180balls in a halo b) and get ready to start our journey over this land they call "South Dakatako". We fired up the dysfunktionmobiles anti-gravity-turbine assisted engines and began our decent to the interstate. Reports from traffic indicate a large rainbow type vehicle careening into a camper, causing instant destructification, and taking out several motorcycles. Quote one motorcycle man "DAYUM". When in Peirre, we found that faster than light travel had made us crave Hardee's food. We proceeded to Hardees and went about ordering our food. They assigned us all numbers. I was instantly cautious. "why give numbers in stupid plastic? y not in the recipt?" i thought. I instantly concluded that my numbered plastic was actually, a bomb laced with antrax emitting Micro processors. What was the red coloring of the plastic for, you may ask. To ward off the angry herd of angus cattle looking to avenge their fallen beef comrades in glorious grilling. I quickly snapped my red numbered plastic antrax bomb in two, and said to the clerk/plastic number collector/waiter man: "Im on to you and your scheme involving plastic numbers and Militarily trained killer angus." To that the waiter replied: " Gah. I woulda gotten away with it to, if it wasnt for you dang kids." The police then quickly threw the man in the river, and gave me a breathalizer test. After that we decided to retire to the campsite. The campsite turned out to be a confusing maze of roads and small concrete slabs. luckily we had a small numbered device that allowed us to navigate to the correct site for camping. The next moring we put on our paintball apparel and flew to the field. Long story short, we got first place, and beat a bunch of good novice teams. This is a true story, made up by me, Danny.
August 14, Yankton Run and Gun 3 man- Well folks, its time once again for one of my catastrophically successful event reviews. hold your demeaning coments to the end please. Well the day started off like any other tourney day: Full of our trademark senseless antics and mischeif. So we began our jourey to the land of meth manufacturing manic man whores aka yankton aka land of mumbling midget monkey manglers. aaaaaaaaaaawwww man. i spilt my strawberry milk. this ruins everying. im going to sleep. good night and good riddance.
Current NPUC Season Ranking- 2nd and behind by only 3 points with one tourney to go!!!!!
